


Miss Texas Rodeo and Her Teddy Bear

by SmackTheDevil



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: AU, Cancelled Supernatural, Depression, Drag Queens, Feminization, Fluff, Gay, Happy Ending, Homosexuality, Hurt Jensen, Kissing, M/M, No wives, Prostate Massage, Pudgy Jensen, Rimming, RuPaul's Drag Race References, Supernatural Convention, boy on boy, jared and jensen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-09
Updated: 2016-02-09
Packaged: 2018-05-19 09:31:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5962423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmackTheDevil/pseuds/SmackTheDevil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in an AU where Supernatural was cancelled after 6 seasons. Jensen takes it badly and distances himself from that world he loved so much, only one person can save him - Enter Miss Texas Rodeo..</p>
            </blockquote>





	Miss Texas Rodeo and Her Teddy Bear

Jensen sat slumped in front of his TV. He did this often now. Having lost interest in absolutely everything his life before offered him. His family were beside themselves with worry and his agent had dumped him 2 years previously. The worst thing about it was that once in his life, he'd had ambition. The modeling had led to acting and he fucking loved it. He had loved that show. He had loved Dean. It pushed him, stretched him as an actor and as a person. Helping overcome doubts about his acting abilities and bringing the shy boy from Texas out of his shell. He hated that people assumed that just because he was devastatingly handsome he would automatically feel comfortable around strangers and cope with interacting with his peers. It couldn't have been further from the truth.

Being on that show had slowly pulled him away from that. Jared and his infectious laughter and kindness had helped him. And now, as he opened his fifth beer and flicked relentlessly through station after station, he was back to square one. No ambition. No drive. Nothing. Just a slack, pudgy untrained belly, hair about as long as it had been when he was a young model all those years ago and a two week old beard. Unrecognizable and he liked it like that. Purposely growing a disguise to hide himself from the fan girls who still wanted Dean Winchester every once in a while. Bar. Grocery store. Walking down the fucking street having smoke.

The last time Supernatural was broadcast was May 24th 2011.

They had canceled the show after 6 years. There was so much promise but it wasn't to be. Jensen was mad about it. They had survived a writers strike during season 3 and he had thought that anything was possible for his little show. He had fallen into an extreme depression and abandoned everything he had gained from the experience. Including the one person in his life who would understand the loss. He hadn't seen Jared Padalecki for 6 years. 

He says 'hasn't seen' him. He saw some Gilmore Girls reunion thing and then a couple of convention panels on YouTube. Jared still did those, mostly with Misha at his side. He always did a stand up job of deflecting derogatory comments and questions about Jensen. And piling on the praise when fans had nothing but good things to say about the man who once played Dean Winchester. Jensen was often tempted to call him or drop him an email to thank him but so much time had passed, it had become awkward. Any attempts by Jared to contact him had ceased years ago.

'Hey, Jen. Listen, I know you don't want to talk, to anyone. But you know I'm here, man. Always will be. Even in 30 years and you wanna just roll up on my doorstep, I'd never turn you away. We all miss you. I don't know what else to say, Jen. Love you.'

It was the last voice mail Jared left for Jensen. Jensen hadn't deleted it. He listens to it every day.

Jensen hadn't earned any money for 3 years. Royalties rolled in now and again but nothing of significance. No one in the business will touch him and there is zero interest in his current status from the media. Although his sister did tell him that Buzzfeed featured him in a 'Where Are They Now?' article which was less than flattering. He had one run in with a pap a few years ago which led to him being fined for breaking the little assholes' camera. His clean cut image went down the drain, along with his career and lack of self worth. He was a hermit, running out of money and on the edge of extinction. He drank quite regularly. Mostly alone, but sometimes he would find himself propping up a bar someplace. He had the beard now and could do that in peace. 

His life was watching TV, drinking, smoking, sleeping, eating when he could be bothered, pissing, shitting and then knocking a load out when the beer wasn't stopping him from getting it up. Sometimes he cried. Sometimes, he couldn't stop.

The television flickered, a blue hue dancing over the walls of the apartment he was likely lose very soon. He had fallen asleep, like he invariably did most days. In front of the TV with a beer in his hand. He rarely used his bed. He hadn't slept in it for weeks. He blinked slowly at the television, it was screaming at him. A myriad of disco light colors flashing his pupils wide open. He squinted at the insult to his eyes and winced at the thrump of Gloria Gaynors' voice pumping out from his surround sound. He muttered and mumbled to himself. He had been watching some home fix up show, he liked those, they were stupid and inane and required little thought. He fumbled about for the remote, feeling down each side of his body, hands padding over his gray sweats, elbowing the overflowing ash tray on the arm of his chair and knocking it the floor. He reached between his legs and found it, he lifted it toward the screen and then paused. And then his mouth hit the floor so hard he almost coughed.

“'the fuck?” Jensen rubbed his eyes and blinked, pulling himself upright, ass perched on the edge of the couch, which now had a permanent Jensen Ackles shaped indentation.

Jared. Hair pulled back by a baby blue Alice band. Face, as fresh as a daisy and so clean shaven he almost looked prepubescent. His eyebrows had been plucked to oblivion. And along the bottom of the screen were his names.

Jared Padalecki – Actor – 'Texas Rodeo' (Rodeo pronounced like the Drive)

Jensen blinked again. He clicked on the information button on his remote which brought up show details. 'RuPauls Celebrity Drag Race.' 

“What the actual fuck?” Jensen spat, his mouth wrapping around the rim of his now warm, flat beer.

Jared was all sunshine and animation as he spoke. The Texan drawl was there but more so. Over the top and forced. Camp as Christmas. Jensen had seen Jared like this once before. July 2011. Jared had done Nerd HQ with Zachary Levi. Jensen had declined to appear as he had already heard the show had been canceled by that time and wasn’t up to the barrage of questions. Jared hadn't done that much better. He had been drunk through the entire thing. Plus he had worn those fucking stupid boots that Jensen hated so much. He hated them because he loved them. He loved them when Jared wore them when he was riding his dick in his mind. And that was another reason Jensen had gone to ground. The fact that he was a screaming homosexual and no one in his life knew. And he was in love with Jared. Had been the moment he clapped eyes on him 11 years ago. His entire life was hopeless. Jareds' on the other hand looked anything but.

Jensen wasn't quite processing what he was seeing. He settled back into his couch and felt around for another beer. Still warm but at least it had fizz.

'I'm 6ft 8' in heels. I slay.'

“Slay? What does that even mean?” Jensen muttered to himself. He wasn't entirely sure what he was meant to be watching. He had heard of RuPaul. He knew about the whole drag act thing but Jared. Really? He sat through a series of challenges which Jared and all the other 'girls' took part in. One was singing which Jared was abysmal at. Jensen had always been the singer. It had been a while since he had even so much as glanced at his guitar and for a moment he wondered if he'd lost the ability to do that too.  
Jared was better at the roasting. He had always been a funny guy and he killed it with joke after joke. Jensen laughed heartily, even though he was unfamiliar with some of the slang being used.

It was the drag that finally got him sitting bolt upright like he'd had a stick shoved up his ass. And his dick was suddenly utterly confused. To Jensen, Jared had always been complete perfection. Like a made up person or something. Like Jared should be in some book about how people should look and he was the diagram. Human perfection. Now however, he had turned into the prettiest girl he had ever seen. The others were too 'draggy' for Jensens' taste but Jared could pass for a woman in a club, albeit a giant one. His legs went on for days and were topped with a short denim skirt and above that a cute cropped plaid shirt which was solid glitter in red, white and blue. He shone and Jensen pined.

Jared won. 

Jensen flopped back into the comfort of his couch as if he had just been fucked. Exhausted by the bombardment of information and color and the sheer drama of it all.

“Well, I'll be damned.”

He fumbled about for his phone, opened up his contacts and scrolled through beery eyes to Jareds' number. He fell asleep even before the screen timed out.

*

Next day Jensen woke up with a start. His throat was like sandpaper and the beer had made his stomach feel bloated and bubbly. He thought about the dream he had last night. Jared Padalecki prancing about in heels, long tan legs going on for miles. Perfect flat, taut stomach under patriotic sparkle. Face made up to utter perfection. And then he remembered, it hadn't been a dream at all.

He had cleaned up the contents of his spilled ash tray after he had trodden in it barefoot. And after that he decided to clean his entire apartment. It hadn't gotten in too bad a state. Just a little dusty and he had forgotten to take the trash out for the past two weeks so it smelled a little. He showered and dressed, not ready to shave just yet, he stood in front of his bathroom mirror and trimmed his beard into something a little more hipster and a little less hobo. He squeezed himself into one of the few pairs of jeans left that actually fitted him and sat himself down at his kitchen counter. Phone in hand. Cigarette in another, beer ready and open, next to his now empty ash tray.

Even from afar Jared had worked his magical sunshine on Jensen. Just seeing the beauty radiate from the television screen had ignited something inside Jensen that had been dormant for so long. He needed more than just a spark to kick him back into shape, he needed a Goddamn firework up his ass. One of those loud, glittery ones you see on the 4th July. The huge ones that light up the night sky. Ones that bang and crackle and boom. 

The call went straight to voice mail which sent a wave of relief through Jensens' body. Picking up the phone and calling Jared had been the biggest step, actually forming sentences and talking to him would be the next. Jensen mumbled out a few words and then hung up.

'Jared, it's me. I mean it's Jensen. I, er. I just wanted to say hey and er, that's all really. Bye.'

Jensen spent the rest of the day padding around his apartment clutching his phone as if he was part of some dare which forbade him to set it down anywhere for even a second. He rarely got any messages or calls so when, two hours after he had called Jared, his phone actually rang, the unfamiliar noise made him jump out of his skin.

It was Jared.

“Oh my God, Jensen!” Jensen held the phone away from his ear as Jared screamed down the line with pure excitement. Jensen couldn't help but grin. It had been a long time and his face felt like it was being unnaturally stretched.

“Hey, Jared.”

Jared could hear the smile in Jensens' voice and giggled like a maniac.

“I'm not gonna scold your ass for this, Jenny but oh my God, it's been too long.”

“I know.” Jensen replied simply, his voice dripping with relief that he had finally made the move he should have made years ago.

“Okay, so. You know I hate phone calls. I mean, I can't see you or touch you and I hate that. Oh my God. I'm coming to see you. Like now. Can I?”

Jared could talk. Jensen had forgotten that. He had forgotten how much it used to drive him crazy at conventions when he'd just be sitting there shaking his head while Jared went off on a tangent – blah-blah-blah. But, God, he had missed that relentless spew of words and shit coming from that beautiful mouth.

“Sure.” Jensen was doing that phone call thing when a person wanders around their home picking things up and putting them down again. He lifted a magnet from the fridge door and sighed as letters pinned underneath floated to the floor, he stood up and caught his reflection in the glass door of his wine cabinet. No wine. “I'm not sure.”

“Okay. So, you're sure you want to see me. But not sure?” Jared laughed sweetly, his voice coaxing the former.

“I, yeah. Sure I do. I mean. I'm not busy.” He rubbed his hand over his beard and looked down at his beer pudge. He still looked hot. Still had those amazing green eyes that could divert even the straightest of men. And the cock-sucking mouth that has never had the chance to prove its worth. After a moments pause and utter patience from the usual ball of energy on the end of the line, Jensen agreed that Jared could visit today. 

“Oh my God. I am so excited. Lucky I was here visiting the fam fam.”

Jensen frowned at the terminology and the sheer amount of times Jared had uttered 'Oh my God' but let out a little chuckle all the same.

“Yeah. I guess I am.”

“Oh my God. Then I guess I'll shower and I'll see you for dinner. I'll bring food.”

“That, that sounds amazing, Jay.”

They wound up the call with Jared saying 'oh my God' one more time and said goodbye like they always had before.

Jensen lit another cigarette and leaned against the counter in his kitchen. He walked through to the bathroom and studied himself carefully. He looked rugged. That's what he told himself. Rugged and manly, out of shape, sure but nothing a little salad and sit-ups wouldn't fix. He pulled the skin under his left eye and dragged it down. He inspected his slightly bloodshot eyes. Too much nicotine. Too much beer. Not enough sleep. He stuck out his tongue. That looked surprisingly fine. Although he thought he should at least mouthwash and floss before Jared got there. Jared always hated his smoking.

He held his cigarette between his teeth and undid his jeans. No belt needed when they're such a snug fit. Peering inside his boxer briefs and examining the contents. Pubes could do with a trim. He glanced up at himself in the mirror.

“What are you doing? Idiot.” He muttered over the filter of his cigarette. “Like beauty and the fucking beast. Plus, no one knows you're gay. Except the automated texancockboys.com subscription emails you get. Dick.” Jensen tucked everything away and fastened his jeans. He threw the half smoked Marlboro into the toilet and went about brushing, gargling and flossing like a mad man.

Jared hadn't said a time. This was okay. It normally wouldn't be okay because Jensen used to be a stickler for time and tardiness was at least in the top five of 'Things Which Jensen Ackles Finds Abhorrent' list. Jensen paced nonetheless and spent a lot of time peering through his drapes covertly looking out of the window for a car that Jared may or may not be in. Jensen wanted see Jared before Jared saw him, hence the drape twitching. He wanted to mentally prepare himself so that any blushing or whimpers could be gotten out of the way before he made a fool of himself. That plan wasn't to be. There are two entrances into Jensens' apartment block and Jared entered the one Jensen wasn't staking out. Fuck it.

The intercom buzzed twice. Jensen answered.

“Hey. Guess who?!” 

“Carmen Miranda?” Jensen chuckled and Jared laughed like a hyena on the other end. Jensen buzzed him in and then waited, propping the door open with one foot, head poking out around the frame, watching the elevator like a bearded, pot-bellied hawk. The elevator doors slid open with the God awful rattle that Jensen had complained about several times and then time stood still. Jensens' knuckles, gripping onto the door frame turned white as Jared stepped out into the hall. He was dressed in low slung ripped at the knees jeans, a fitted white buttoned shirt, a pair of mirrored aviators and those fucking stupid cowboy boots. Jensen thought he hadn't seen anything so gorgeous in his entire life. His hair was shoulder length and doing that sexy devil-may-care thing. His face was beaming as he saw Jensens' bearded face peep around the door sheepishly. 

“Look at you. Mr Lumber-Sexual.” 

Jensens' face turned crimson under the dark blonde beard.

“Miss Texas Rodeo.” Jensen smirked, looking up at Jared.

“You saw?”

“I did.”

“And?” Jared was all up in Jensens' personal space and Jensen couldn't have cared less.

“Gorgeous.”

Jared pulled Jensen in, his usual groping hands full of booze and food. Jared pulled back and gave his former co-star the once over. 

“Oh my God. The pudge is adorable.”

Jensen winced at that remark. But then he could have been stood there in a garbage bag and Jared would find something positive to say about it. 

“Come in.” Jensen held out a welcoming hand, directing Jared inside. He closed the door slowly and then leaned against it with a sigh. “I, I have so much to say, Jay.”

“I guess you have. But I'm not gonna rush you, darlin'. Let's eat first.”

“Just let me say one thing?”

“Sure.” 

“I am so sorry.”

Jared waved the apology away. 

“I know.” Jared smiled. “I have Thai food.” He added, keen to stop their reunion becoming morose.

“Awesome.”

Jensen laid out plates and a fork each and two glasses for the beer Jared had brought. He could feel Jared watching him the entire time he moved slowly about his kitchen. Jensen sat on the stool next to him and opened the food containers one by one, eyes fixed on the job.

“You're really staring at me, Jay.”

“I've missed you.” Jared leaned around trying to catch Jensens' gaze. Jensen glanced for a split second but it was all he could manage.

“I've missed you too. You look good.” 

“So do you.”

“Sure.” Jensen scoffed. “I got fat.”

“You didn't. I still would.” Jared said plainly, stabbing his fork into a too large for his mouth piece of chicken. 

“Still would what?” Jensen shot Jared a look, Jared shrugged in reply. “So any way. What's with the drag act?” 

“It was just a one off. I mean, I get a bit of work but sometimes I just want to do something out of my comfort zone. So Megan said I should try that. It was fun.”

“You looked great.”

“You think so?” 

Jensen grinned and nodded, mouth full of rice.

“Well, ya'll gonna have to wait a long time before I get Miss Texas Rodeo out again!” Jared drawled camply, hands on his hips.

“Love the name.” Jensen laughed watching Jared wrestle with his sunglasses which had slipped from the top of his head to the end of his nose tangling with his hair.

“Megan. All her idea. I think Dean would have appreciated that pun.” Jared chuckled and then watched a sadness wash over Jensens' face.

“Oh God. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you.”

“It's okay.” Jensen shook his head. “Nah, it's not okay actually. It's so far removed from okay.” Jensen sniffed, pressing the heels of his hands into eyes. He felt a large familiar hand press gently against the small of his back.

“Why the hell didn't you call me sooner, Jenny?”

“Coward.” Jensen replied simply as he tipped his head back and sniffed loudly, hands dragging tears over his cheeks.

“No, you're not.”

“Oh, I really am, Jay.” Jensen reached across the table for the beer, knocking a brown paper bag over which clattered on the counter. “What's in the bag?”

“Your favorite whiskey.”

“I could use some of that. Want some?”

“Nah. I'll stick with the beer.”

“You mean, your 'milk'?”

Jared paused for a moment as Jensen got up and opened the bottle of whiskey, which he kissed affectionately before pouring himself a finger.

“Oh yeah. Oh my God. I was so drunk.”

“Just a little. Cute though.”

“I guess. If sweating motor-mouths with flushed cheeks are your thing!” Jared laughed at the memory.

“Oh, they are.” Jensen downed his finger and then poured another.

“Jenny. Why now? And what is with you? Are you flirting with me?”

“Okay. Want my soliloquy? Because I haven't told a soul about anything. Everything I'm about to tell you. It's been in here.” Jensen tapped his temple. “It's literally my first step toward living again.”

“Okay. Just say what you're thinking. Like I'm not here.”

“6ft 4' of loveliness. I'll try to ignore that.” Jensen countered sarcastically and took a deep breath, there was so much he needed to say. So much he wanted to finally share. Having Jared there with him was exactly what he needed. He had prepared his words over and over. The years changing them slightly but the sentiment remained the same. “Jared. I'm gay-”

“I know.”

Jensen held his hands out either side of him and stilled.

“Huh?”

“I said, I know.”

“I have at least another 15 minutes of talking to get through. And you say 'I know'?”

“Well, you know I am.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, my gaydar is awesome and I've known for years. I probably knew before you did.”

Jensen slumped back on his stool.

“Why the hell didn't you tell me?” Jensen downed his whiskey and poured another.

“Jen, you can't 'out' people. It's not how it works. If I had said to you. 'Jen, you're a fag.' Would you have said 'Oh yeah, thanks Jay' and then it would have been you and me walking off into the sunset together. No, you have to want to come out yourself. Like you just did. Bravo!” Jared clapped and Jensen instinctively bowed. The camaraderie between was as prevalent as it had ever been. However, part of Jensens' speech was yet to be revealed. It was the worst bit.

Most people who are called out of the blue after 6 years of silence and ignored phone calls would be pissed. But not Jared, he could see the positive side of World War 3.

“Okay. So there is more.”

“I'm single and yes I would love to sleep with you.”

Jensen stilled again, this time, mid pour. He now had a glass and 15 fingers of whiskey to drink.

“How are you doing this?” Jensen eyed Jared suspiciously but with a twinkle in his eye.

“Call it 'being in love with my best friend and co-star'. Other people get depressed too Jenny.” Jared smiled a smile but it was weak.

“What?”

“To which part?” Jared sipped on his beer and shook his head.

“You love me? But it's been six years and I look like this!” Jensen almost yelled but with good humor in his voice.

“So?”

“Damn.” Jensen sat down and drank 7 of his 15 fingers of whiskey.

“But there are two much more important questions I need to ask.” Jared sipped at his beer and crossed his legs with meaning, the pointed toe of his black boots nudging at Jensens calf muscle.

“Oh?”

“Mmm. Does that beard tickle? And can I spunk on your belly?”

Jensen choked, literally choked and spat decent whiskey across the counter.

“You walked in here, like, 20 minutes ago.”

“Yes. But would you expect anything else from me? Jenny. I have been in love with you forever. I know what I can be like. All mouth and hands but I have always respected you too much to push you. I knew how much you wrestled with your sexuality. And as I said earlier, I wasn't going to force it. Partly because coming out was your job and also I didn't want to be rejected by you. It's hard enough nursing unrequited feelings but to then have them rejected. No. I wasn't prepared to take the risk.”

“But it's been 6 years.” Jensen repeated, still in utter shock.

“Why do you keep saying that?” Jared looked mildly perturbed.   
“After all this time we still feel the same about one another. Wouldn't it be sadder if we didn't or worse still, one of us had moved on.”

“Jay, look at you. You're a God and I'm not what I used to be.”

“Were you actually here for the beard and belly comment or did someone come in and replace you with a waxwork?”

Jensen sat with his hand partially covering his mouth and frowned hard.

“Really?”

“Yes, really.” Jared tilted his head to one side slowly. “Does it tickle?”

“I don't know.” Jensen almost scoffed. As if he knew whether his beard would tickle any part of Jareds' body.

Jared slid from the stool and pushed his finger into Jensens' beard. It was thick and dense and the length had allowed the hair to become soft.

“It's sexy.”

Jensen closed his eyes as Jared used both hands to push his fingertips into Jensens' beard.

“Yeah, that would tickle.” Jared smirked, stepping away and sitting back on his stool. Jensen opened his eyes and sighed softly. “Have you let everything go?”

Jensen was absently pouring and drinking whiskey as Jared shot him another inappropriate question. Jensen didn't need prompting.

“Huh, yeah. I guess you could say I have.”

“Like a teddy bear.” Jared hummed, swinging his legs even though his feet were grazing the floor. “I have nothing. Anywhere.”

“Okay. This is just weird now. We haven't seen one another for 6 six years-”

Jared rolled his eyes by way of interruption.

“-and yet we're discussing our pubic grooming routines.”

“Ew, don't say pubic.”

“It it what it is, Sammy.” Jensen paused. In his mind he had a choice, burst into tears, or burst out laughing. Both men chose the latter. Once the laughter of Jensens' slip of the tongue had ceased. Jared placed the lids back on the food he figured neither of them would now eat.

“You're shocked because you thought it would be awkward. But it isn't. Why do you think it isn't awkward?”

“Is this a trick question?”

“No.” Jared laughed.

“Because we're both on the same page. Both in the same place we were in the last time we saw one another. Because, even though time has moved on, our feelings haven't.” Jensen paused, thoughtful. “If only-”

Jared was up and out of his seat in a heartbeat. He pressed a finger against Jensens' mouth.

“Don't you dare say that. I'm here now. If you want me.”

“Of course I do.” Jensen mumbled against Jareds' long insistent finger.

Jared peeled his finger from Jensens' whiskey-sticky lips and kissed him once gently. He pulled away and giggled, rubbing his lips to ease away the tickle from Jensens' beard.

“Seriously. Don't ever shave.”

“Even though it tickles like crazy?” Jensen shook his head with a chuckle.

“More so. Y'know. You look one hundred times hotter than when I last saw you. It's not a line. I'm being honest here. Jenny, you're just so rugged. Oh my god.”

“You're very camp these days.” Jensen commented, not responding to any of the compliments Jared had just thrown his way.

“I always have been a bit camp, Jen. You like it?”

“Yeah.” Jensen breathed out. “God, yeah.”

“Can we please have sex now and then we can see about setting your life back on the right track.”

“And sex is the way to start that ball rolling, is it?”

“Yes.” Jared replied mock gravely. “I'm afraid so.”

Jensen was having the best and worst day ever. He was feeling the effects of the half bottle of whiskey he had managed to imbibe and still in complete shock that Jared had walked in and basically said 'I love you, let's fuck'. He was giddy in love, a switch from only hours ago when he was sad and in love and then had to deal with Jared seeing his flabby body. No matter how much Jared wanted to cream over it, Jensen still felt a little self-conscious. 

“I don't have any-” Jensen winced. “-stuff.”

“I have lube with me.”

“Okay. You usually carry that around with you?” Jensen said over shoulder as Jared man handled him toward the bedroom.

“No.”

“Bit presumptuous.” 

“Do you really care? God, Jensen. Really, darlin'.”

“I don't understand what is happening.”

Jared gave Jensen a little shove which was perfectly timed so that Jensen would hit the bed easily. Jared toed his boots off which made Jensen smirk.

“Can you put those back on? I mean when you've taken everything else off.”

“Kinky. But okay.” Jared was bare foot underneath the boots and the rest of his clothes came off so easily, it looked like a magic trick. Jared was an expanse of tan and smooth skin. Sharp angles and cute but obscene curves. And he hadn't lied, apart from his head, there wasn't a single hair on his body, not even a hint of shadow anywhere. Jensen tried to look everywhere else but at Jareds' dick. But it was there, and it was hard and huge and alarming. It bobbed as Jared pushed his feet back into his boots. And Jensen made the most pitiful wanton sound he had ever heard.

“Don't look so terrified, Jenny.” Jared dropped to his knees and between Jensens' thick bowed thighs.

“I haven't gotten laid for a very long time, Jay and never have I ever-”

“It's okay. Your boyfriend is here now.”

Jensen mouthed the word 'boyfriend' as Jared nuzzled Jensens' neck, nose tickling the bristle on his throat. Jensen thought how Jared was like one of those crazy women who lines up outside a department store waiting for the sale and then runs in as soon as the door has been opened. And then thought about how that was probably a terrible analogy and promised himself he would never voice it. During all of his weird thoughts, Jared had pushed him back against the bed and was undoing the button and zipper on his jeans. Jared levered out Jensens' sweaty pink dick and buried his face in the generous mound of thick unkempt pubic hair.

“Really?” Jensen stuttered as he heard Jared inhale over the mound.

“Oh God, yeah. My big bear.” Jared yanked Jensens' pants down over his thighs and swiftly from his feet. He pushed Jensens' tee over his belly slowly, fingers tracing over the slight bulge and then kneading his love handles gently. Jensen couldn't help but see the lust in Jareds' eyes. It was unmistakable and helped put Jensen at ease. Just a little. “Take your shirt off, darlin'.”

Jensen complied. It was the first time in a long time that Jensen had been naked in front of anyone. He didn't look how he imagined he would look when he first made love to Jared. He was more Dean-like in those fantasies. His hair was shorter and thick with product, clean shaven and with a tighter stomach. He had never managed nor wanted abs like Jared but he had always been happy with his broad shoulders and curvy ass.

“You're so perfect, Jen.” Jared sat, still kneeling between Jensens' thighs and ran his hands over body. Jensen opened his mouth to speak. “Please don't. Please don't insult my taste in men.” Jared was serious as he spoke. Jensen closed his mouth. “Shift up.” Jared gently patted Jensens' thigh. They moved up the bed together and Jensen groaned as Jared melded against his body. He hadn't realized how much he had missed human touch and how much he had craved this particular one.

“Hello.” Jensen grinned up at Jared then smirked as he felt the rub of the leather boots over his calves.

“Hey.” Jared leaned down and rubbed his cheek against Jensens' beard and then nuzzled until he was under his chin.

“Y'know, under the beard, is my second, hidden mystical chin.”

Jared chuckled, sliding his arms underneath Jensens' back, pulling him into a death-grip cuddle.

“You feel so lovely. So warm.”

“Wow, you need to stop being so damn cute.”

“Jenny, that's all you.”

“We're gonna be one of those couples, aren't we?”

“I'm afraid so.” Jared muttered. His lips ghosted over Jensens' full, sensual mouth. It was a kiss that had been a long time coming. Both men hesitated, knowing that their first kiss together would never be as good as their second, or their third, or their 557th. Jensen tilted his head slowly as his mouth locked with Jareds'. Their lips were alcohol infused and sticky sweet, Jensen brushed his whiskers over Jareds' mouth which provoked a squeal of delight from the younger man. The kissing became languid and slow, tongues tucked away as their mouths shared dry, soft kisses.

Jensens' fingertips teased Jareds' hairline, gathering loose strands and pushing his hair from his face.

“Love you like this.”

“But you can see my five-head.” Jared laughed softly, his body settling even more against Jensens', slotting together comfortably.

“Does that mean you have a five-skin too?”

“Wow, that's, that really is a Dean Winchester pun.”

“I'll never let him go. Y'know, not completely.” Jensen carded his fingers through Jareds' hair, provoking an eye roll of pleasure from his man.

“I know.” Jared whispered, eyes closed, humming with contentment. “You're the only person who can do this right.” Jareds' entire body shook and broke out in goosebumps.

“I don't particularly want to fuck right now.”

“Nor me. I like this.” Jared opened his eyes and moved onto the bed on his side, Jensen mirrored him. “Does that mean I can take the boots off now? Save that kink for another day?”

“Sure.” Jensen laughed as Jared kicked them off in mock disgust.

“They are horrific by the way. And I can't believe that five years later, you're still wearing them.”

“Thanks.” Jared replied flatly but with a slight smirk. “I'll get a nice hat to go with them and you can really find out what Miss Texas Rodeo can do when she's riding her cowboy.”

“Everything about that sentence is so wrong but I am one hundred percent on board with it.”

Jared curled a hand around the back of Jensens' neck and tugged at his hair.

“I don't ever think I have seen your hair so long.” Jared grabbed a handful at the nape and yanked at it. Jensen hissed as Jared noticed his dick twitch at the same time. “Filing that away.” Jared smirked.

“I need to get my life back.” Jensen muttered as he turned the conversation mood around completely without warning.

“What do you want?” Jared settled down comfortably, pulling Jensen in closer, all thick dick and pudge pressed against his abs.

“I want things I can't have. I mean, I want a thing I can't have. I have you now?”

“That last part sounded like a question. It shouldn't be. But you do darlin'.”

“I want Supernatural.”

“Come do the conventions with me. It's so great.”

“It's not the same.” Jensen shrugged. “I'm me when I do them. I don't want that. I've been me for years now and it's gotten old.”

“Can I suggest something?”

“Sure.” 

“One step at a time? Let's do us first. I mean, my work is steady but it's pretty low key. Why don't we just enjoy each other? And then I'm sure the other stuff will just come naturally. Don't force anything.”

Jensen nodded slowly, taking in Jareds' words. Sometimes, Jared Padalecki was a ridiculous creature. Having little control over what came out of his mouth private or publicly. Falling over things, breaking bones on a regular basis and entering celebrity drag competition just because it seemed like a good idea. But he was deeper than people gave him credit for. Unstintingly kind and would do anything for anyone. And his advice was always spot on.

“Yes, you're right. Of course, you're right.”

“It's a burden.” Jared booped Jensens' nose.

“Good job on the 'sex will get you on the right track' thing.” Jensen gave Jared a pitiful thumbs up.

“All part of the plan, Jenny.”

Jared was also sneaky and knew Jensen better than anyone else in the world. 

“Plan?”

“I knew that as soon we came in here, you would get all soft and vulnerable and you'd want to open up.” Jared arched an eyebrow. “ You're extremely transparent.”

“Wow.” Jensen mouthed. “Busted.” He glanced at Jared just enough to catch the younger mans eye.

“What is it?” 

“The speed. It's all very weird.”

“You crashed at the same kinda rate, Jenny. Why is it so hard to believe that something good can happen out of the blue?”

“Stop saying shit that makes sense. It's freaking me out.”

“Do a convention with me. Please.”

“I dunno. I never liked them much. Only did it for you. And I can't go looking like this.”

“What, hot? God forbid.”

“I think you may be biased.” Jensen shook his head.

“Shush. Oh please, at the end of the month it's NashCon. Please. Misha will be there and Rich and Rob.” Jared beamed as he almost sung out the sentence.

“Really, Jay. I don't know. It's pretty huge for me.”

“Listen. I want you to pack a bag and then you're coming home with me, we have a few weeks until the con. And then we'll see how you feel.”

“You're not going to take no for an answer are you?”

“Nuh-huh.”

“Fine.” Jensen huffed a little in defeat. “But I am not promising anything at all. Okay?”

“But you will come.” Jared persisted.

Jensen couldn't help but chuckle even if the prospect of catching up with people he hadn't seen for the best part of a decade terrified him to his very core. Not to mention standing in front of a crowd of fans possibly screaming at him, or booing, whichever. It was a hideous idea. Deep down though, he knew he needed to do it. He had already made a huge step which happened to turn out the best way possible. Surely it wouldn't be too much for him to hope that from here on in, things could only get better.

*

Jared had overseen the packing. Cooing at clothes Jensen had kept from years back that Jared had loved him in. And slapping Jensens' hand away from any kind of face shaving implements. Jensen wasn't sorry to leave his apartment behind and presumptuously thought that it would be one of the last times he sees it. Jared made him pack his guitar.

Two days before NashCon, Jensen woke up with a start from a sweat induced dream which involved him peeing his pants as soon as he walked out onto the stage in Nashville. Jared woke up literally a second after he heard the deep inhale of a gasp which had worked its way from the back of Jensens' throat.

“'S'okay, darlin'. I got ya.” Jared drawled sleepily, rubbing a hand over Jensens' sweat-sticky back. “You had a bad dream.”

“Yeah, I know.” Jensen mumbled gruffly, his fingers pinching his sleep rough throat. “I can't do it. It is literally giving me all kinds of fucked up nightmares.”

“Jenny, we've been through this a hundred times. I'll look after you, we all will. Even if you just come with and stay in the green room, it would be a start.”

Jensen laid back slowly, shifting back into the comfort of Jareds', well, now his bed.

“We'll see.”

“Tickle me.”

'Tickle me' had become Jareds' code word for 'let's have the sex', something they had indulged in quite frequently ever since Jensen had moved in with Jared. Their sex-life varied from rough, to kinky, to soft and slow and on occasion, downright avant garde. Jensen hadn't shied away from having his homo-cherry popped in any which way Jared had seen fit.

Jensen rolled onto his side, pudge still evident due to his love turning out to be a serious feeder. His beard, now a little shorter had been trimmed neatly to a point on his chin which had slimmed his face somewhat. His hair remained the same but a little less wayward, dirty-blonde, parted to one side and full of natural wave.

“Tickle, you say?”

Jared nodded coyly, a long finger resting seductively on the swell of his bottom lip.

“I feel like I wear the pants in this relationship. You're the girl and I'm the boy.”

Jared kicked Jensen playfully. “You have got that completely wrong. I'm the women and you're the man.”

“You really don't mind that, huh? Me thinking of you as a gir-woman?”

“Hello, darlin', drag queen in trainin'.”

Yeah, about that. Jared had received such positive feedback about Miss Texas Rodeo that he had been offered a few gigs across the country. A little club in New York, a few in Austin and a star spot guesting during an all-male burlesque show in Vegas. Jensen had been one hundred percent supportive and had even been recruited into sewing a few sequins onto a football jersey which he insisted Jared should wear at least once. The back read 'Miss Texas Rodeo - 69.' They had both snorted at that.   
Jensen had also become a reluctant expert in applying nail polish to Jareds' toes. It usually wound up with them doing something sexual after discovering that it was a dormant kink they both shared.

“You gonna let me tickle you?” Jensen drawled pulling the shimmering naked body of his part-time woman against him. Jared had always shimmered, that sunshine glow that Jensen had fallen in love with when Jared was barely out of boyhood. And now he shimmered constantly, inside and out. Golden tan daily covered in subtle sparkle, hidden in body lotion and bath products. “You smell like peaches.”

Jensen drew Jareds' body up over his chest, dragging fingers over his silky smooth skin, pulling him up sitting onto his face. Jareds' perfect, velvety ass slotted over the soft bristle of Jensens' neatly clipped beard. Jensen locked both hands over Jareds' cheeks and gently teased them apart revealing Jareds' sweat-slick pink hole, tight and puckered and fluttering with want. He licked up, tongue fashioned into a firm point, a little cold against the rim. Jared squirmed as the rough of Jensens' beard did indeed tickle against his baby-soft ass. Jensen pushed and coaxed his tongue past the rim, his mouth pooling with excess saliva which gradually seeped from his mouth and soaked into his scruff. Jareds' hips rippled with delight as Jensen used his thumbs to further open Jareds' ass hole, he hooked a thumb inside, flush against the plush of his spit-soaked bottom lip. He pressed it against Jareds' prostate which conjured up a small wanton yelp from Jareds' mouth. 

Jensen was, or turned out to be, the best prostate orgasm giver the world had ever known. The world being Jared because, y'know, he was his world. There was something quite female about having a hidden part of his body stroked until he was screaming like a slut and begging for more. Something about coming without spunking, something about coming over and over. It took skill and practice and Jensen treated Jareds' prostate like Miss Texas' secret little clit.

“Please, Daddy bear, play with my clit.” Jared muttered softly, even his voice now sounding a little more feminine. Jensen slapped a hand against the small of Jareds' back, holding him steady against his face. Jensens' thumb worked steady against the needy little nugget sitting prettily inside Jareds' perfect peachy ass. Gradually bringing Miss Texas close to coming all over his saliva-slick face. Jared knew when to move and how best to hold his body, ensuring that Jensen hit that sweet spot perfectly with every rub of the pad of his thumb. Jared came three times, each one matching the intensity of the one before. His dick was dripping pre-come like candle wax and he moaned like a bitch through each one.

Jared always needed manhandling and laying down after dealing with such an intensive session of coming. Jensen laid his trembling body onto the bed, stroking his skin softly, helping him back down to the real world.

“Wow.” Jared panted out, his prostate still sensitive, making him squirm against the bed.

“And I believe we have the guitar playing to thank for that particular skill.”

“Who would have thought a thumb would be so good at multi-tasking?” Jared chuckled breathlessly.

*

Jensen sat in a huge armchair, half slumped with submission in the green room of the hotel. He could partially hear people arriving, bustling about, squeals of excitement from fans, doors slamming and the hum of Jareds' motor-mouth as he took a phone call from his sister. Jensen had been in a funk all day. Jared had tried to prize away the bottle of whiskey Jensen had been clutching and sipping from, warning him that it was 11am and saying that he didn't want to see him make a fool of himself a la his own Nerd HQ appearance. Jensen had argued back that being drunk that day had just made Jared look human and utterly cute. Jared backed down and they made up.

The door swung open, which made Jensen freeze with fear. And then he was glomped. Misha launched himself onto Jensens' body which made Jensen pull his knees up to his chest, clutching his comforting bottle of whiskey and slipping into 'junk protection' mode.

“It's like sitting on a bouncy house.” Misha teased and then poked Jensens' pudge with his index finger. “Looking good, my friend.”

“Shut up.” Jensen levered Misha from his lap and chuckled slightly, standing up and holding out a hand. His hand was rebuffed, instead he was pulled into an affectionate hug.

“Told you.” Jared mouthed with a smirk from behind Misha.

And then carnage as Jensen found himself lost underneath a pile of bodies and 'huggy' arms as Rob and Rich joined in the bundle of love. The noise levels went up as did Jensens' feet from the floor, the boys lifting him in a group hug of happiness.

“Okay, y'all let the man breath.” Jared said, wading in with long arms and breaking up the crazy reunion.

“Wow, someones' jealous.” Misha joked, leaning into Jared and giving him a short hug.

“I've never seen Jensen looking so musky.” Rob chipped in. “Loving the lumber look, brother.” 

“This lumber?” Jensen poked at his paunch.

“I love it.” Jared chirped.

“Suits you. Join the club.” Rich prodded his own middle-aged spread. “And then we have Mr Perfection here. Or should I say 'Miss Perfection. My, how times have changed. You're both gay, you're fat-” Rich nodded at Jensen with a playful wink. “- and Jared is a girl.” 

“Supernatural sure fucked things up. But at least I'm fine.” Misha commented, sitting himself down in Jensens' comfy chair.

“Sure, Misha. You're the weirdest one of us all.” Jensen muttered, now feeling a little more relaxed. “And you don't even have to try.”

Rob slung an arm over Jensens' shoulder, giving it an affectionate squeeze.

“Glad you're here, brother. We've missed you.” There was utter sincerity in his voice which made Jensens' belly twang with guilt.

“Thanks. It's all thanks to Jared.” 

“Aw, you two are just so cute, it makes me want to vomit rainbows.” Misha chuckled to himself.

“It's like I've never been away.” Jensen said, as his tense shoulders finally relaxed.

As they split off into two groups, chatting away and catching up at a rate of knots, there was a polite knock on the door.

“Enter if you're sexy and a washed up TV star.” Misha sang with a grin.

The door opened slowly and Jensens' head spun. He chewed the inside of his mouth and shook his head a little.

“So this is where the party is at?” Jeff curled himself around the open door and now it was Jensens' turn to smother. He bounded over to him and threw his arms around his neck. And then sobbed. The boys went quiet and Jared threw a hand over his mouth as he watched Jensens' shoulders shake against Jeff's stiff, slightly taken aback body.

“He knows that's not his real Dad, right?” Misha whispered. Both Rob and Rich shot him daggers and Jared shoved him hard. Drag queen or not, there was power behind that shove and Misha hit the wall. “Ow, you're such a mean bitch.”

Jensen finally pulled away, tears streaming down his face, he turned to the assembled party and shook his head. 

“You're all so-” Jensen paused. “-thank you.” He turned back to Jeff and gripped his arms. “It's so good to see you, dude.”

“And you. Glad you're here. I came here on the off chance you might be here. I got a tip off from a lovely young woman.” Jeff's eyes flicked toward Jared, who was looking anything but innocent.

“I had to. I'm not sorry, Jenny.” 

The con went better than Jensen had expected. He was little drunk through the entire thing but not enough for anyone to notice. Just enough to take the edge off. The fans were warm and excitable and the camaraderie on stage was like it had always been. Jensen declined the offer to sing but made a promise that he would sometime in the future. 

That evening, they all piled into a bar a little away from the hotel. Jensen felt like he was a part of something again. Sitting back for a moment and taking it all in. Misha being a loose-mouthed idiot. Rob and Rich chatting away with enthusiasm. Jeff, a little more stoic than the rest and then Jared. Looking a little smug and pleased with himself as to how everything was finally panning out exactly how he had planned.

Dean and Sam, John and Cas, Gabe and Chuck. Together again. Not how Jensen would like but for now, it was enough. It wasn't such a terrible life after all.


End file.
